How To Stop Holding Yourself Back in 1 Step

There have been so many books written on this subject.

Your biggest hurdle in life is you.

Here’s how it works. Our beliefs create our actions. Our actions create our habits. Our habits create our lives.

If you start with a crappy limiting belief, that chain of events is going to lead to something crappy.

That part is not your fault. It’s science. I don’t have the studies and references here to back it up. Sorry bout that. I’m going to ride on the fact that the little truth bell just dinged inside your head like a fork being tapped against a wine glass.

Ting ting ting. This is for real.

Our beliefs come from a number of events that happen throughout our lives. That’s a story for a different post. The important part to remember is that a belief is a thought you keep thinking.

If you’ve ever sighed angrily and muttered “This happens every time!” That’s a limiting belief. I’m not saying that it doesn’t actually happen every time. Follow our cycle though.

Belief, action, habit, belief reinforced. Ta-dah! See that last one. That’s right when you breathe that angry sigh and confirm that it’s not worth speaking up or trying something because the crappy thing happened.

So let’s get back to how we are the ones holding ourselves back and more importantly how we actually have the power to change that.

A lot of people say the key is changing your limiting belief. That’s super effective for some people and with some topics.

It’s honestly what’s helped me take an extended hiatus from booze and feel totally in control of it. I changed my belief that “Nah this is fine” to “Holy shit this might give me cancer and I’ll die like my parents” after I read this article.

I don’t share that it scare you that it might give you cancer as you’ll die. I share that because it is an example of how I stopped my drinking habit on a dime despite my passionate love of Citra hops.

Like I said, sometimes changing the belief is powerful.

I think changing our action is where we can often be most effective.

This requires though one key piece of the puzzle, awareness.

You have to be aware of what you are doing. This is at the same time simple and really hard, but totally doable.

It happens in a split second.

It’s not yelling at the cat the second it starts meowing. It’s putting down the beer or the bag of chips that you just picked up. It’s turning around to pick up your pen to write seconds after deciding that watching four more episodes of The Good Place is a better way to spend the afternoon. It’s walking over to your partner after a conversation that got heated to apologize.

Each of these little actions is a way of taking control back.

It choosing the person you want to be. Breaking the chain of the things you’ve always done.

It feels different when you choose the better option. Your auto-pilot clicks off and your mind wakes up for a second.

Do it enough times and it literally draws new pathways in your brain.

This changes your belief because now you’ve tried something different and seen different results.

You’ve seen that it doesn’t always have to happen a certain way.

Whether you’re trying to get healthier, start a business, or just be a better person, taking these small new actions will change your life.

Old You will show up less and less because you’re not calling anymore.

You’re not relying on the same beliefs that fueled the same habits that you didn’t like.

Try it for a week. We can do just about anything for a week.

Catch yourself when you’re doing something that you have told yourself you don’t want to do anymore. Choose differently. Tell Old You, “Wait just a sec. I’m going to do this instead.”