It’s 7:08 in the morning. I went to bed way too late and woke up twice during the night. Maybe it’s the underlying stress of this Coronavirus pandemic that made my sleep so restless.
The cats and dog needed to be fed. There was a pile of dishes in the sink because we were too tired to do them the night before. The baby was stirring way earlier than normal threatening to rob me of my quiet time that I treasure in the morning. I could feel the stress building in my chest. I knew there was only one thing to do: listen to something that will make me feel happy.
Do you want to know the secret to being happy?
Conscious effort.
It takes work to be happy. It takes commitment to feel good. It takes consciously saying “I want to feel better” and then doing things that get you there. Not once. Every day. All day long.
Maybe that sounds like too much effort. For a lot of people it is. Plain and simple. Happiness isn’t something that you get once and then you just are forever. I wish it was, but it’s not.
It takes awareness and commitment. Aren’t you worth it though? I think so. I think that you deserve to be happy and to feel joy in your life in little ways and big ways.
Now that doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to be sad or angry or exhausted or depressed or frustrated.
We are humans and this is life. Every one of those darker emotions is part of our human experience. If we didn’t have clouds, we couldn’t have rain. If we didn’t have rain, we wouldn’t have flowers and grass and trees and well… any life on Earth. (Insert mental image of a barren desert.)
What I am saying is that while you’re feeling those crappy emotions at some point you have to say “I don’t want to feel like this.” Decide right then that you are going to feel better.
Now you may be tempted to choose the self-loathing path of how dumb you are that you felt that way. I’ve done it a million times and probably will a few thousand more. I too am human after-all. Not this time though. We can decide to do something that feels good instead.
Choose one little action or change that you can make right then to steer you towards feeling better. You don’t have to go to elation. Just better.
Today that meant listening to a clip of Abraham-Hicks on YouTube. It meant washing the bottles and loading the dishwasher because I know I feel better when there’s not a sink full of dishes. It meant eating breakfast before I got the boys out of bed. It meant pouring a glass of cold brew coffee and sitting down to write to you dear friend. All of these little things that help me to reorient myself and get back on my path to happiness.
I promise you this is quite possibly the best work you can do.
We are literally talking about our lives. When we’re happy we show up in the world in a different way. We’re a better friend, a better partner, a better neighbor, a better us. We have more energy and focus for our life. If you ask me, there is nothing better that we can do for ourselves than begin cultivating more happiness in our lives. Give it a try and see what it does for you.
What brings you joy? What is something that helps you turn your day around? I’d love to hear about it.