If you Googled it right now, you could easily find hundreds quotes about not quitting.
It’s pressed upon us from all sides to never give up and that quitting is bad. That’s sometimes true. There is a lot of value to persevering and staying with something even when it’s hard. There’s a ton of things in life that are hard but totally worth doing. I’m not talking about quitting there.
There are times when the job, relationship, or project, no longer serve the person we are or who we are becoming.
- You find yourself dreading going to work.
- You find yourself miserable sitting next to your partner.
- You’re snappy and short.
- You feel like it’s a chore every time you have to work on it.
- The joy is gone.
I’ve been at that point in a relationship. The bickering starts up in a relationship. The sex isn’t happening or feels like a chore. I’ve laid in bed inventorying my belongings so I don’t forget anything when I pack.
I’ve been at that point with a job. The excitement and impact you felt when you started is a distant memory. The company has taking a shift in a direction you no longer agree with. You realize your half-assing your work. You look around at the people there and know that you don’t belong there anymore.
I’ve been at that point with a project, which for me is usually a band. Rehearsals feel like a chore. The idea of giving up an entire night to play a show doesn’t feel like it’s worth the money. The inspiration is gone. The emotion behind the creative impulse is shrugging its proverbial shoulders.
This my friend is when it’s probably time to quit.
Step 1 – You have to get real with yourself.
Self-examination is critical at this point. What’s really going on with all of these feelings? Your spirit is trying to tell you something. Our minds might try to rationalize it telling us this is just a phase, which it may very well be, hence why you need to dig into it. Often though, we have a gut feeling about it that keeps persisting no matter how much our mind and ego try to keep us in place.
Step 2 – Think about what the other side looks like.
What does it feel like to think about not doing this anymore? Does it feel like a relief? Does it feel like freedom? I’m going to guess there’s a part that feels scary. That’s ok. Change feels scary. Don’t let that temporary fear dissuade you. I’ve learned that it’s just the anticipation of the change that freaks us out. Our bodies are wired to do that to keep us safe. Once you swallow that fear and make the change, that fear is usually nowhere to be found.
Step 3 – Make your declaration.
There will never feel like a truly perfect time to do this either. If you’re like me you may be considering how it’s going to affect the other person and worrying about messing up their day, week, life. That’s ok. To completely not give a damn how it affects the other person could be a tad sociopathic and I’m guessing that ain’t your style. The biggest lesson I have learned about this is to speak your truth as soon as possible. You owe it to yourself. You have reached a decision and carrying it around is a whole new burden. Sometimes there has to be a strategy involved, particularly with quitting a job, but be sure to not hang on to your truth any longer than necessary because it can feel like torture to hold it in.
When you finally speak your truth and say “This isn’t working for me anymore. I’m done,” something magical happens. Freedom. There is an overwhelming sense of freedom that sweeps through you. All the anxiety of fretting over the decision is gone. You did it! Now you can proudly walk in the direction you know you are heading.
Is there something that you know you need to quit? Tell me about it. Is there something you quit and felt that glorious rush of freedom? Tell me about it and inspire our friends.