Nature isn’t designed that way and neither are we. It’s a painful impossible quest. I know because I’ve tried and finally decided to love myself anyway. Let’s forget about all of the physical “perfection” that we will all never achieve. That’s a story that we’ve all read, probably all strived for, or hate ourselves to some degree for not being. That’s not what we’re talking about today.
Today we’re talking about the desire to BE perfect. The desire to act a certain way around a lover, friend, family member, or boss so that they’ll think you’ve got it all together. As a parent, this is a tough one for me because sometimes I just don’t have the damn patience to get asked for blueberries for the 11th time while I’m in the middle of cutting them and the baby is crying because his toy fell and I’m still sick with the cold they gave me and you know what happens? I yell. Then I feel like an asshole. Then I do the most important thing after we all calm down. I apologize. My perfect is being the perfect parent.
Maybe for you perfect is being the perfect partner. If you just go along with whatever BS they throw at you or if you don’t speak your mind or if you are agreeable enough then they’ll think you’re perfect. Been there. It didn’t work. The thing I’ve learned after nine years with my wife is that surprisingly she loves me even though I’m not perfect. It’s the same way I love her despite her imperfection.
What I’m getting at is that neither you nor I nor anyone else you know can ever be perfect. What we can be is ourselves. That’s not to say that we can’t improve. Life is all about growth, learning, and expansion. That’s literally why we’re here. If there’s a quality about yourself that you don’t like, such as yelling when you lose your patience, it’s something you can work on. You can do anything you set your mind to and if you work at it you can do it really well. I know that it’ll never be perfect though and that’s ok.