Nothing gets in my way faster when I’m flooded inspiration and then in my excitement take a quick peek at one of my many heroes is up to.
“Wow… this website is so bomb. I really need to tighten up what mine looks like.”
“Look at those gorgeous photos. I don’t have any awesome shots like that.
“She’s so much more feminine than me. I don’t dress like that. Is that ok?” (No really is it ok to wear a t-shirt and jeans and still be an inspirational badass when you’re a woman?)
“Look at what an empire they created! I can’t even make myself sit down long enough to write a damned blog post. How the hell am I ever going to do that?”
Holy comparison hell Batman.
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
Phew… good I’m glad it’s not just me.
Seriously though. These thoughts are so real and so insanely unhelpful. Destructive even. If we hang out with them too long they can squash our drive and crush our ambition.
I want to encourage you by telling you that you are not alone. I think these actual thoughts or something similar every day. There’s two ways to handle them when they happen though.
- Let them takeover and decide that it’s way easier to just lay on the couch and take a nap.
- Look that thought right in the face and say “So what!? That’s not me!”
I am a fan of the “so what method”.
True story. When I was in 5th grade our art teacher Mrs. Ballard was going on a diatribe to my class about how we were the worst class she has. (To a room full of 11 year olds.) She ended it by saying “Do you have anything to say for yourselves?” I politely raised my hand and waited to be called on. “So what. Someone has to be the best. Someone has to be the worst. We’re the worst. So what.”
Friends… let me tell you what Mrs. Ballard did NOT expect to come out of my mouth in that moment. Yeah. Let me also tell you what she did not find charming. Mmm hmm. You guessed it. I was sent directly to the principal’s office. The crowing glory of the moment that forever solidified the power of my statement was when my mom told the principal that I was right (and that while I didn’t understand that it was a rhetorical question, I did raise my hand).
At 11 years old, I knew what to say in that moment!
The next time you are caught in comparison hell I need you to raise your hand and politely say “So what!”
So what your website doesn’t look like someone else’s. They’re years ahead of you.
So what you don’t have photos like that. I repeat, they are years ahead of you.
So what if I wear a t-shirt and jeans every day. That’s who I am.
So what if you don’t have an empire today. Once upon a time, your hero didn’t have one either.
Let your 11 year old self stand up proud to that crappy inner critic. If it wants to talk smack, you have a right to answer back cause if we’re honest it’s just being a jerk.
Now tell me your story. What’s on your greatest hits of comparison stories? When did you stand up to your inner critic?